It Takes A Village

Cliche...yes I know.  But there really is something true about the ancient African proverb.

I was chatting with a friend of mine who just had his 2nd child and both of us were non coffee drinkers before kids and now find ourselves on a first name basis with our local baristas. We were reveling in how in the hell we were both so busy and how did our parents do it?

My parents need a medal for what I put them through let alone adding my 2 younger siblings!

So I thought I would try to break it down and yes, I know this is a generalization (but hey this is my blog and you can suck it if you don't like it):

When our grandparents were born. The death ratio among infants/children was high (morbid, yes, but true) so they had as many kids as possible.  They were raised in conjunction with other family members that lived in the same house and each child helped raise the next.  BAM! There is your village.

Our parents were raised with the same mentality, health care was getting better, but again large families were the in thing.  The older children raised the younger ones or worked on the family farm or business.  Relatives lived either next door, above, below or down the street all close by to help out.  FWA-POW! There is your village.

Next, with us it became a little different. Our parents said HELL TO THE NO on the large family, they saw, felt and lived the affects of that life.  They wanted calm, small families.  Hell, what they really wanted was the ability to take a shower or a shit in relative peace!  So...when we were old enough...we were fed breakfast, booted out the door and told to come home when it got dark.  We would travel in packs around our hoods, stopping from time to time at each others houses to get drinks or food.  Each house taking a turn.  GAZINGA! There is your Lord-Of-The Flies-Village.

And now it's our children's turn.  We live in a progressive, modern, luxurious technologically run world.  Our homes are filled with cell phones, tablets, flat panels, computers, game consoles. Ummm, wait...where are the other people.  If you want your kid to play with someone, you have to make an appointment and possibly fill out paperwork.  Kids have busier schedules than the friggin Pope!  Each appointment, play date, girl scout meeting, soccer practice, etc. they need to be shuttled, monitored, watched, coached and at times hurried on to the next gig. When they do have down time, is it spent outside? If you don't have a back yard...EFF NO! They are sat down in front of whatever glossy electronic panel of their choice, handed a remote, joystick or keyboard and left on their own.  WE ARE MISSING OUR VILLAGE!!!!  Unless we consider Apple, Sony, Samsung, Microsoft, DirectTV among others our village most of us are shit out of luck!  We have isolated ourselves so much by being so connected by technology! No wonder most of us are frazzled, stressed and bitchy! (yeah, that last one was aimed at you, psycho soccer mom in the SUV at Trader Joes!)

For a lucky few of us...we have our village, it may consist of one or two people...but that's enough.

Thank god I have an ace in my pocket, a guardian angel, a pot of gold under my rainbow - Grandma! This women, who I am not even related to by blood or marriage but feel we have the bonds of strength in girl power and the will of survivors.  This woman is at my house at the crack of dawn, rain or shine so I can go to work, she picks them up, helps with home-work and even cleans our microwave.  I know some of you swearing at me and calling me names that only sailors would utter.  I agree, I would call me that too.

 I am truly, amazingly lucky to have this woman in my village.  And I dedicate this post to her and thank her from the bottom of my caffeinated heart. Your guidance and insight into your grandchildren  have helped me immensely and let me discover my inner mom!